Taking out the Trash...

Forgiveness is a funny thing. I've been thinking about this for while lately and although it may not make a ton of sense, I wanted to write down my thoughts.

I am the type of person who can have a bit of a temper. In the past eight years...(right around the time Ben and I got together...!!) I have learned not only how to control it, but to sort of calm myself down before it gets to the point of needing to control it- for the most part.

So, when I am mad about something and I actually feel it worth bringing up, its usually for a pretty good reason. The other thing about me however is, once I have discussed, resolved or fixed the issue- I am over it. Seriously, my temper can flare up, but it totally dies out just as quick. Also, I forget things like crazy. So if something happened in the past and someone wronged me, or vice versa, chances are- I've forgotten all about it. Seriously. I have found myself in situations where I act like nothing is wrong at all with someone, just to be reminded later on that something kind of big had occurred in the past. (Can kind of make for embarrassing situations from time to time, but I sorta consider it a blessing.)

Now, having said all that, I have found there are certain times in my life where there was more than anger, there was a really deep hurt, betrayal or humiliation involved. Those seem to be the things that I not only remember, but carry with me. There are, of course, specifics, but they, in no way, are the real issue here. The issue for me is I have been doing some self reflection lately, and I have found myself wondering what the point of holding on to them is, and, more importantly, can I let go?

We are taught in our church, that forgiveness is divine. It is one of the bigger aspects of our beliefs, and so it is obviously an important thing. I truly believe that holding on to negativity in any way is not healthy, but so many of us do it. It is a hard thing to move on when someone has wronged us, and I have found, at least for me, I will seek solace in friends and family by telling them my side of things and having them console me with platitudes. Even after it has become a thing of the past. There is nothing better in those circumstances than being told that you are in the right.

HOWEVER- I kind of have come to realize that I am only hurting myself. I feel a million times better about myself and my life when I take the high road, and when I have positivity in my life. So, I am going to make a new goal for myself- I am going to resolve to let go of my old issues. Our Father in Heaven can forgive us our transgressions, so who am I to hold on to them!? I really hope that it works in the same way spring cleaning my house does- I hope to feel lighter and happier.

I have to add a little disclaimer- I am definitely not holding on to a ton of negativity, I have just found that a couple pesky memories sometimes sneak up on me and they still seem to have a not so positive affect on me, so I am gonna do my best to ditch them. I have too much to be grateful for to focus on that junk.

Just seeing this picture makes me remember how much

more important other things in life are! This is what

I need to focus on.