The Month Of Loooooove!

I haven't written much in the way of updates lately, so here is a brief one on the goings-on of my life lately..

Valentine's weekend was super fun this year. Usually we don't do a whole lot, I am kind of one of those people that usually says- you shouldn't save it all up for one day a year... blah blah blah... HOWEVER- this year, we were like, Why don't we just make a go of it?! Have some fun as well, and the funny thing is, we could probably still love each other the rest of the year as well. Might work.

So, we went out with Panky's Sat night to (....cue the cheeseball factor here...) Valentine's Day. Yup, when we decide to embrace something, we go all the way! So, we all kind found the movie to suck, but oh well. At least we got out right?!

The next morning we gave the girls helium V-day balloons that we had gotten them and we all had a really nice breakfast, hung out as a fam and then churched it. That night Ben and I made the most romantic candlelight dinner-

yup. Those are bbq'd hamburgers. And they were gooood!

It was my birthday on the 19, and so my sis booked a private room earlier in the week at Moxie's so we could go celebrate... (which we also never do!) and it was so much fun! I laughed so hard that whole night. I have the best friends in the world!

Then on the 19, my mama made me the BEST dinner and we had a little partay with the fam. Honestly... such an awesome week!!! I am sort of feeling like we should have started making big deals out of things way earlier in our lives!!!

So the next big thing is Grace's Bday and I am in the throes of planning a shindig for her, which I hope, is as fun for her as mine was for me... which, judging by her excitement level already- I don't anticipate being a problem!

Taking out the Trash...

Forgiveness is a funny thing. I've been thinking about this for while lately and although it may not make a ton of sense, I wanted to write down my thoughts.

I am the type of person who can have a bit of a temper. In the past eight years...(right around the time Ben and I got together...!!) I have learned not only how to control it, but to sort of calm myself down before it gets to the point of needing to control it- for the most part.

So, when I am mad about something and I actually feel it worth bringing up, its usually for a pretty good reason. The other thing about me however is, once I have discussed, resolved or fixed the issue- I am over it. Seriously, my temper can flare up, but it totally dies out just as quick. Also, I forget things like crazy. So if something happened in the past and someone wronged me, or vice versa, chances are- I've forgotten all about it. Seriously. I have found myself in situations where I act like nothing is wrong at all with someone, just to be reminded later on that something kind of big had occurred in the past. (Can kind of make for embarrassing situations from time to time, but I sorta consider it a blessing.)

Now, having said all that, I have found there are certain times in my life where there was more than anger, there was a really deep hurt, betrayal or humiliation involved. Those seem to be the things that I not only remember, but carry with me. There are, of course, specifics, but they, in no way, are the real issue here. The issue for me is I have been doing some self reflection lately, and I have found myself wondering what the point of holding on to them is, and, more importantly, can I let go?

We are taught in our church, that forgiveness is divine. It is one of the bigger aspects of our beliefs, and so it is obviously an important thing. I truly believe that holding on to negativity in any way is not healthy, but so many of us do it. It is a hard thing to move on when someone has wronged us, and I have found, at least for me, I will seek solace in friends and family by telling them my side of things and having them console me with platitudes. Even after it has become a thing of the past. There is nothing better in those circumstances than being told that you are in the right.

HOWEVER- I kind of have come to realize that I am only hurting myself. I feel a million times better about myself and my life when I take the high road, and when I have positivity in my life. So, I am going to make a new goal for myself- I am going to resolve to let go of my old issues. Our Father in Heaven can forgive us our transgressions, so who am I to hold on to them!? I really hope that it works in the same way spring cleaning my house does- I hope to feel lighter and happier.

I have to add a little disclaimer- I am definitely not holding on to a ton of negativity, I have just found that a couple pesky memories sometimes sneak up on me and they still seem to have a not so positive affect on me, so I am gonna do my best to ditch them. I have too much to be grateful for to focus on that junk.

Just seeing this picture makes me remember how much

more important other things in life are! This is what

I need to focus on.

Still feeling that thankful feelin...

Soooo, on the topic of being thankful...I want to just say that I am so grateful for my mom. I know full well, how lucky I am that I have the relationship I do with my mom. I can't think of too many things in my life that she doesn't know about, and thats the way its always been.

We have hugely differing views on a lot of things, and I have to say that one of my favorite things in the world to do is get a rise out of her. Its been a good day for me if she walked out of the room at least once, shaking her head at me. That being said, I do consider her one of my best friends, (Thats even despite her being wrong about sooo many things...) She is seriously such a cool chick!

Also, there is the fact that I am pretty sure one of the main reasons I snagged Ben is because he thought I cook like she does... haha! Joke was definitely on him, but he does get to partake of her culinary goodness at least once a week.

She is the bestest best grandma too. My girls get to go to her dayhome every time I am at work, and it is just such a blessing to me to know that they are in a home I know and with someone I trust. Especially since, as it turns out, I am pretty psycho about my kids.

Anyway, Mom, I love you and despite the fact that my goal in life is to seriously aggravate you, I look up to you. Literally. You're taller than me.

Beauty- In the Eye of the friggen Beholder!

So, at church today, we had a lesson on Satan's various ways of tempting people and leading them astray. It was such a good lesson in so many ways, and I definitely enjoyed it. The thing is though, something was brought up and I realize that although, I am slightly taking it out of context, I felt compelled to address this particular issue.

One of the things that was mentioned in being one of Satan's tools was vanity. Now I realize that there are many people out there who take vanity to another level... (Ehem, Heidi Montag!) what with plastic surgery and people spending hours and hours each day to make themselves look like an artificial variation of themselves- and I do believe this is what our teacher was leaning toward...

However, I do not feel that taking half hour to an hour each day to look your best is necessarily a bad thing. I am not bringing this up specifically due to the lesson today, it has come up a few times lately (and not in a very flattering way either...).

I am irritated that people who take time to have their nails done, or get their highlights touched up, or even those who just take the time to look like they didn't just roll out of bed- are being attacked lately. And probably this has been going on for a long time, but it seems like it has been brought up to me tons in the past couple weeks.

I have had clients tell me that they need to color their hair darker to be taken more seriously. I have been told by a few people that they have to wear plainer clothes so they blend in with their co-workers better. I have had clients rag on people they know because they let their toddlers get their nails painted or their hair straightened/curled from time to time. I myself have been labeled high maintenance a number of times simply because I take the time to do my hair and make up once in a while.

People! Really?! I feel like in this day and age there is NOTHING wrong with trying to look our best. I am not saying that we all need to be beauty queens- I am far from that. All I am saying is, we have got to stop putting each other down for stupid things!!!

I realize that I am slightly more touchy about this due to the industry I work in, after all, if people stop caring about their appearance I am out a job. I just honestly feel like it is not that big of a deal for us be proud of our appearance.

And here is my dirty little confession- I actually paint Grace's nails quite a bit... and I even straighten her hair sometimes! Paint me materialistic, but I feel like it not only teaches Grace to not look like a slob, but the time we spend together actually feels like a bonding experience. And I dare someone to find fault in that!

Time for Part Four

Okaaaaaaaaay, I have been meaning to do this since my last "things I'm grateful for" post, but I interrupted myself to have that last rant post. Here I am back on track though...

I am grateful for my little sis. She and I weren't close... at all... when we were younger. Well, we had our moments, mostly when I decided to stop being such a rank witch to her, but all in all we didn't get along too great. However, it seems like as soon as I graduated, and particularly once I met Ben... (I am not too sure how that coincided...) we put all our differences aside and found that they actually helped us to be the greatest friends.

She and I have had a TON of great times together, and honestly, when I was in hair school and a brand newlywed living in Calgary, she was the person that kept me from going carazzzay. She drove up like every weekend and gave me some desperately needed girl time.

She is has been there for me through a lot and I always know that if I need some honesty, some advice or a laugh, I can call her up and she is there.

I am really lucky to have her, and it makes me so grateful that I have two girls because I know that someday they will have the relationship that Brit and I share. (Hopefully Grace treats Kai a lot nicer in the teen years though!)

A Work In Progress.

The aforementioned work in progress? That would be me.

Sometimes I wonder if I've wasted a good chunk of my life worrying what other people think and/or do. I used to care SO much what people said about me, and although I am not quite to a point where everything rolls off my shoulders... (someday perhaps...) I do find that I am not quite as concerned as I used to be.

Maybe that is because I have kids now and my family has shown me what is truly important, but I have found that in the past year especially, it all just seems less important.

On that note however, I am also becoming more aware of how important perception can be. I have had a few people comment lately that they were scared or intimidated of me before they knew me, and truthfully, part of me kind of finds it funny... (its just really bizarre to me), but at the same time, I feel like maybe I should work on being a little more aware of what I am putting out.

I want to go through my life teaching my kids that they don't need to worry about every little comment or gossip, however they also need to know that they are daughters of our Heavenly Father and they are representing our family and our values. I don't think people have the right to judge one another, but, the cold hard fact is we all do. At one point or another we do.

So, my new goal, (which seems to kind of be a recurring goal I have...)is to work on avoiding that. I always get so defensive if I overhear somebody saying something about someone I care about, so what I need to remind myself is this- if I am repeating something that I know shouldn't be repeated, no matter the reason, I am attacking a person that someone else cares about.

And if I can get mad about someone doing it to me, how can I reasonably justify my own anger. I don't know if that makes sense, I have had this on my mind for a while and I needed to get it out.

So, I am sorry if I have ever offended someone who is reading this. I am sorry if I have come off in a manner that intimidated anyone. And I am sorry if I have ever made a comment about anyone reading this that may have been offensive.

I'm working on it.

Things... Part Three

I am really really grateful for my husband. I am grateful to have the knowledge that we are not going to fall into the statistic that claims that fifty percent of all marriages (that begin in someone's early twenties) will fail. I am a really lucky girl to have married Ben. The truth is, when I was younger I definitely did not have a clue as to the way my life would end up, in fact, I never tried picturing it really. I was not the type to imagine my wedding day, I never really gave much thought toward what I wanted to be, and I didn't imagine the kind of mother I would be.

When Ben and I got married, I was freshly twenty, and moved straight out of my parent's house. Were there adjustments? You betcha! Was the first year hard... well, sometimes, and that kind of had more to do with where we lived at the time than the whole newlywed thing. However, we are going on six years married, eight together, and I feel better about our decision everyday. Probably more than I did on my wedding day, and I was standing there without a doubt then.

I have a husband who gets that sometimes I don't make the smartest comments. Sometimes I say things that most people would have left in their heads. And sometimes I frustrate him in ways he's never been frustrated. Despite these things however, we have learned to accept each other's quirks, and maybe even love them a little... okay- tolerate them anyway.

Bottom line, I am really glad he agreed to be my guy forever, because I think eternity is gonna be a fun time with him by my side.

One of our engagement pics...

Dancing at our wedding...

Newlyweds...

The day we went through the temple together...

The day we were sealed....

Right after Grace was born...

Right after Kai was born...

I just love this dude...